This is my marker…my “sort of” official declaration that I am, as of this very date, beginning a dedicated effort to write the novel that has been rattling around in my brain since at least 1985, the end of my first active duty assignment in the U.S. Air Force. I had discussed the plot of my novel with numerous friends and coworkers over the years, but, I vividly remember describing my writing plans to my older brother, Mark, during his visit to my duty location, Offutt Air Force Base, Nebraska in the summer of 1993. I was excited to talk about my book ideas, and Mark seemed plenty interested (although, he was probably just being polite), so I went, on, and on,…and, on about my grandiose writing plans, fleshing out additional details as I went. A year, or so, later, when Mark asked how my writing was going, I was flummoxed! I gave him a number of reasons why I hadn’t made any progress on my book: added responsibilities and workload that came with a recent promotion, deployments, college classes, a new baby, and the list went on. Truth be told, I felt embarrassed by giving him that list of excuses. They were all actual life-impacting activities going on in my life at the time. But, in reality, I simply hadn’t prioritized my writing over those other things in my life. And, looking back, I don’t think I would/could have prioritized my writing any higher than I did, even if I wanted to. But, I never put any thought into it to understand that. So, every once in a while over the years, I would sit down and give a token effort to something “related” to writing my book: jot down some notes about a sub plot, read an article or part of a book about motivation (“How to Write Your Novel in 30 Days!” by Nver Dunet, or buy a book (I’ve purchased a lot of books!) about some topic possibly related to my theoretical book. So, here I am, thirty years later, essentially starting from scratch to write my first book. Don’t get me wrong, all of the daydreaming over the years has ultimately helped me refine my approach and develop some themes I want to include in my writing. But, I never truly felt motivated to attack such a large effort. So, I’ve even asked myself, “What’s changed?” Very simply, I feel motivated to make it happen now. It’s hard to explain a feeling. But, I think my newfound motivation sprouts from a combination of things. My kids are grown and off living their own lives. Truly living on my own for the first time in my life means I don’t have to “take care” of anyone else on a daily basis. And, I recently moved to a new city where I don’t have a large local support community. So, it’s not that I’m ant-social (depending on who you ask), but there’s an obvious void in my life I can fill by dedicating myself to my writing. So, this blog will probably serve as my “Dear Diary,” a platform where I can talk things out, even if I’m the only one participating in the conversation. But, I hope that visitors to this site (intentional or wayward www spelunkers) will share their thoughts and critiques. I truly appreciate any and all comments and encouragement you care to give!
Reserve Judgement
by Gus Gardner